The Fifty Shades movie is a gateway medium for people interested in power-exchange dynamics, but it should be treated as such - and not as a blueprint for a healthy relationship. In the real world, “dominants” like Christian Grey are at best a joke, and at worst are inmates, and while BDSM communities do have their share of damaged assholes looking to prey on newbies, they are the exception rather than the rule. Fifty Shades of Grey the book and the movie both get BDSM wrong by making audiences believe that being into kink equates to being a mentally unstable perv who uses abuse, manipulation and non-consent while ignoring limits, boundaries, negotiation and trust. Having a red room filled with expensive kink accoutrement doesn’t make you a dominant any more than sitting in your backyard with a running hose makes you a birdbath. The movie, like the book, presents BDSM as being for emotionally damaged, abusive sickos.
Dude turned shitty childhood anxiety into proactive bad-guy chasing and belt-gadgets, not abusing inexperienced ladies with Hot Topic Halloween props.ġ.
Women being cast as weak, lifeless dolls who are aching to be controlled and bought off with money and gifts isn't real, and the example of wealthy men with severe emotional problems who prey on gullible young women (instead of becoming Batman like they should do) is tired, feeble and outdated.īruce Wayne had mommy issues. The same sadly outdated and oft-used dynamic of sheltered, gullible virgin girl and sophisticated, powerful man was maybe interesting and hot in some vintage, dog-eared romance novels, but these days movie plots can and should be more nuanced, and well…modern. The sad Cinderella trope of a movie plot needs to be put out of our misery. His complete inability to be interested in her in any kind of healthy way isn’t something that should be endearing, sexy or romancy. It stands to reason that a smoking hot, chemistry-balanced Hollywood couple could have helped make Fifty Shades into a slightly less horrible film dump, but I doubt it. Watching Ana’s waifish, naïve passive-aggression and Christian’s stilted Dom-bot, one-dimensional pursuit of a bad D/s relationship made me want to go back in time and apologize profusely to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez for saying they were the worst on-screen couple in film history. The two main characters have zero chemistry.Ĭongrats, Fifty Shades the movie! I didn’t think there could be worse chemistry between leads than the drama-sodden, forced romance in the Star Wars prequels, but the relationship between Jamie Dornan’s Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson’s Anastasia Steele made about as much sense as Jar Jar Binks making sweet, kinky love to the fuel tank of the Millennium Falcon. Not that I didn’t anticipate maximum suckage since the book was also terrible, but I suppose I held out a vestige of hope that maybe the movie version would be less unrealistic, misogynistic, trite, ludicrous and the direct opposite of sexy - and sex-positive. Here’s five reasons why.ĥ. Shocker of all shockers: the Fifty Shades of Grey movie sucked so hard it left a gaping hole where my soul used to be.
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